I’ll now regale you with the story of my evening last night. It is a tragicomic tale of the quest to have a good time, shake off a bad funk, and indulge in self-pity, and my miserable failure to bring those goals to fruition (and with that many flowery words, it was obvious that I would blog this).

Act I
Shopping. For a change.

Bethy teleports me to ETD to catch the latest releases. She does this because she knows my preferred type of crack, and because she’s an enabler.

I am generally unenthused by the current trend of torus + flexi-cylinder long hairs where you have very obvious prim joins, which Elika succumbed to on this wave of releases; I resist the pull and refuse to indulge. Bethy buys a “preggo” dress (as it was succinctly described by Echo), and regrets it. I end up with a new pair of brown wedges, which I had been looking for, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Bethy, quite presciently as it will turn out, decides to go to bed, and sleep for 10 hours.

I, in turn, accompany Echo to Sine Wave, to indulge in my other crack of choice, the fifth wave of dance releases.

Five minutes later, I get an IM from a noob from Spain who lives in Korea who has been emailing me for 2 months and who has finally figured out how the heck to enter SL. Even though I KNOW that I’m not particularly in the mood to tell a noob how to take a box off their hand, it will be an improvement on the frustrations of this particular shopping safari.

Act II
In which Aenea searches for a noob in Reforma.

I tp into Reforma, and start looking for my wayward noob. There were over 50 avs in Reforma at that moment, so it was a literal needle in a haystack.

I ask her what she sees in front of her, to kind of set a reference landmark to be able to locate her, and she tells me she’s eating soup for lunch. This isn’t particularly useful in finding her.

While she enjoys her soup, she goes AFK for long periods of time, during which I begin to think maybe she hasn’t completely assimilated the concept of chat.

She finally tells me she’s disposing of the remains of her soup. I ask her to stop moving, and to give me her coordinates. Mind you, this is like 30 minutes after TPing to the sim to look for her. As I navigate to her coordinates, it dawns on me that it would’ve been a great deal simpler to just TP her to me.

D’oh.

So. I find her, in all her noobish glory, just finishing being kissed by another noob with a multitool and a hankerin’ for love. Said noob promptly offers to kiss me, to which I politely respond,

“Are you fucking crazy, noob?” No smiley, even.

He is crushed. I think that Sis would probably have handled that differently.😉 I don’t care.

What then followed were extensive lessons in sitting, typing, inventory, and multiple attempted sends of shapes, skins and other items. Her comment of the shape I gave her (once she finally, 25 minutes later, manages to put it on) is that the breasts seem quite large.

I have to tell her that my breasts are on the top 10 list of the smallest breasts in SL.

She doesn’t get the joke.

Throughout this drama, I am waiting urgently and impatiently for ZeroOne Paz to get his ass online, so I can accomplish my original goal of listening to cool music and dancing with cool people and being snarky to no end at the Bluffs. But Z is missing, unavailable.

Hillary Melville and I decide that we will tar and feather Z for standing us up. She will go first.

I had aggregated a “posse”, in the modern sense in which hip-hop stars use the word, of people who will complement my stated goal for the evening: Astrin, Kesari, and Helix, among others whom I plan to offer random tp’s to. They are understandably meh about the lack of conclusion to my initiative.

This act concludes at ETD, as many acts do, buying hair, when Ani maps me.

I decide that since:

a) the music at Reforma sucked, and I was unable to hijack the stream to DJ on my own;
b) BMC was unsuitably occupied with un-BMC-like activites;
c) Ani had access to the stream at Orca;

Ani and I will make our own party, invite our own cool friends, and listen to our own cool music.

I say goodbye to the noob.

Act III
Flaming destruction of any hope of accomplishing anything rewarding this evening.
(that’s just the title)

Ani “sets things up” at Orca, which entails rezzing Damn German buildings, plus my Aerie perched on top of said Damn German building.

It appears that he’s raided the depths of his inventory for any prims unrelated to hair or shoes, and only dredged up these two items. On top of that, even the alignment of said items was an affront to any sense of prim aesthetics imaginable.

So he erased them and I started rummaging for prefabs from my inventory.

Meanwhile, Ani started the evening’s voyage into musical weirdness with some “Mexican” music he’d picked up in “Tijuana”. Which involved tubas, chimes and wrestlers, more or less in that order.

Flaming Moe showed up, and the evening rapidly devolved into geeky comments – riffed in the highest jazz-musician sort of style, of course – about random saxophonists and “mad soloz” or something of the sort.

As I worked diligently to try and make the prefab look less prefabby, Ani played and said I took after my sister. Which I took as a compliment.🙂

(Yes, the third act sucks. It ends like this:)

I decided that Heroes, episode 18, would probably be better than continuing to listen to pwnzor sax soloz interspersed with band-geek-type comments while nostalgically and melodramatically pining for the evening that could have been.

And it was, mostly. Except for the stale acting, of course. Avatars are definitely less stiff.

The End.